Missing J.

I know I haven’t said much about J lately. Well, I haven’t really said much of anything until a couple of days ago when I finally called things off with him and that’s because I’ve spent every moment with him since before Christmas. That’s easy to do when your boyfriend (yes, I called him that) is unemployed. I don’t have much to say but this: he’s a bum. He quit his construction job because he hated it. He quit his fast food job because he hated it. Not only was I paying for his food/drinks if we went out, but he started taking advantage of it.

I cannot support a man. To be honest, I can barely support myself. I’ve been a stay at home mom for 2 years and now, I’m responsible for paying half of my bills (until March when I’m in charge of all of them)! I don’t have that kind of money. Most of you will laugh at this, but all I need is $1800/month to cover EVERYTHING in my budget. I’m pretty frugal, but still,  I cannot and will not support a man.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, he seems bipolar. Since the beginning of December when we started seeing each other “officially”, we’ve broken up at least 4 times. That’s every other week. He gets upset  and says things he doesn’t mean and then I have moments of strength when I walk away, but we always end up back together. He is my weakness.

I will say this out loud only because I know you’ll hold me accountable, but our relationship was borderline emotionally abusive. Definitely toxic and unhealthy. I finally walked away, but I miss him and think about being in his arms at this time of night. Oh well. I am strong enough to do this.

Right?

-G

It’s gonna cost more than $100…

So, last night with James was… nice. When we talked about where we were going to eat, he told me to pick. We all know that dilemma: Pick something too nice and you’re a gold digger. Pick something not nice enough and you don’t take it seriously. So, I finally decided Outback Steakhouse would be good since I wanted steak and it was nice, but not outrageous. I mentioned that I wanted steak, but didn’t want to go to Texas Roadhouse and he said he hated chains… So, I told him I didn’t know where to go. He suggested a really (REALLY) nice steakhouse and I said I’d never been there but that it sounded great.

Well, it was nice. REALLY nice. Like, our dinner and a bottle of wine (which I didn’t want since I don’t really enjoy wine, but he ordered it anyway) was $100. Maybe that isn’t alot to y’all, but that’s a small fortune to me. We had fun conversation over dinner and he was a pleasant eater (minus the teeth scraping on his fork), but when the bill came, he asked if $18 was an appropriate tip for a $90 bill. Maybe I’m doing that weird female thing where I completely overthink the situation, but why would he tell me how much our bill was?!? It seemed tacky.

After dinner, we went to Barnes&Noble so I could pick up a book (which I’ll be blogging about “Daring Greatly”) and after, I called T so we could go over there. He had originally said something about playing a 4 player card game after dinner on our first date, so I planned to go to T’s boyfriend’s house. Apparently, that’s not how he wanted to spend the evening… After he sat there really upset that I didn’t want to go back to my place, I asked him to take me home. He hugged me and gave me a small kiss at the door.

I called him and told him to drive safe and he said he was going out with friends. I told him “Have fun!!” and he said “Sweet dreams” That was the end.

I don’t have to justify it. He was nice. Had money and was willing to spend it on me. I felt no connection, so I don’t plan on calling. Again, it’s time to do what I what simply because it’s what I want, so that’s exactly what I’m doing 🙂

-G

We’ll call him James

So, I got on Tinder. I finally caved in and just did it. According to what I told everyone, Ty (also fake name) made me an account and I finally listened and used it. Well, I met a couple of guys and started chatting.

One in particular stood out. He is 29 and a hotel manager. He drives a nice truck and is super sweet. A bit nerdy, but we hit it off. We chatted on Tinder for a bit and then I gave him my phone number to text. We chatted for a total of 8 hours that day. The next day, we texted all day long and on my way out with the girls, I called him. He was pleasantly shocked that I had called him and was sad when I got to The Bar and had to go. I told him I would call him when I got home. That night, we talked on the phone for over 4 hours. The next day, we texted on and off before I had to go to work. I had decided GirlJ and I were going out for drinks that night so I could stay distracted because I was SO excited for our first date Thursday. Well, GirlJ ended up agreeing to meet one of her Tinder matches for drinks, so I texted him and told him to meet me for drinks that evening. I couldn’t believe I’d ruined our opportunity for the perfect first date (especially since he picked a REALLY nice restaurant), but I was so excited to meet him after our easy (and sexy) conversations.

When he arrived to pick me up, I was impressed by his truck (which he had already told me all about) and hopped in. We went to a local bar/restaurant and grabbed a couple of drinks and appetizers which he, of course, paid for. GirlJ’s date kept giving excuses about why he was late, so it ended up being the 3 of us for a couple of hours. We ended up at The Bar because, well, duh, we always end up at The Bar. He was nice. He was obviously into me. I can honestly even say he was cute, but I expected so much more chemistry. After some of the conversations we had had, I expected full on chemistry and I barely even wanted to be close to him. He kept touching me and tickling me and I was just really uninterested.

At the end of the night, he drove me home and we sat in the truck and talked for a bit. He kissed me. It was sloppy and unpleasant, but I kissed back. He kept asking to come inside and I kept playfully reminding him that I didn’t do that before the 3rd date. I kept pointing out the time and that he still had an hour drive home, but I just couldn’t lose the guy. Eventually, I was very strict and told him, “I’m going inside now. You have to options: Let me go or walk me to the door.” He seemed let down, but walked me to the door and kissed me. He asked if he could tuck me in and I told him no, but I’d talk to him on his way home.

I called and talked to him, but I felt done. I was so irritated that I felt like I’d had to tell him no a million times. It was then that K started messaging me. Yes, K. The one that looks like a Christmas elf. J’s friend (Read about K here https://confessionsofacheatinghousewife.wordpress.com/2014/11/25/the-end-with-k/) and I actually ended up spending the night with him. That should give you an indication as to how I felt about James…. BUT there was still that nice date we had planned for Thursday….

-G